Dear Scallywags,

As I sit here with a bottle of rum, contemplating the vast adventures of my life, I find it only proper to impart a few words of wisdom before I sail into the horizon. Though, let’s be honest… I’m not one for goodbyes. Consider this less a farewell and more of a whispered legend upon the tides.

A pirate is nothing without freedom, cunning, and a well-stocked reserve of rum. Life will throw cannonballs at you, but remember—it’s not the sea that drowns you, it’s the fear of setting sail. Never let the chains of society, or worse, the East India Company, keep you from charting your own course. And if ever you find yourself in a tight spot, a bit of clever negotiation (or a swift getaway) is always a fine alternative to brute strength.

First lesson: Always have a plan. Second lesson: The plan is more of a compass, not a set path. The seas are unpredictable, and so is life. When one door closes, find another… or knock it off its hinges. There was a time when I lost my ship, my crew, and my dignity (well, what little I had left), but did I sit and sulk? Nay! I commandeered another ship and carried on. The key, mate, is adaptability. And to never trust a pirate who doesn’t drink!

Ah, the adventures we’ve had! From escaping the gallows (on more occasions than I care to count) to finding true treasure in the most unexpected places—like the friendship of our ragtag crew. I’ll never forget the time we outran the sea itself, nor the sheer joy of seeing our beloved ship rise from the depths when all seemed doomed. But what I treasured most were our moments of laughter, the wind and salt in my hair, and the thrill of the unknown. To those who stood by me through the storms, skirmishes, and sorrows you have my eternal gratitude—though let’s not get too sentimental.

May you always sail toward the horizon, never looking back with regret (unless you’ve left behind a chest full of gold—then, by all means, turn back). May you find adventure in the mundane and never settle for a dull life on land when the sea calls your name. Fortune favors the bold, and there is no greater treasure than the freedom to be exactly who you are. Oh, and if you must choose between loyalty and survival… well, I’ll let you decide which is the Pirate’s Way.

And when you find yourself lost at sea, just remember to follow the compass of your heart. Keep your wits about you, always have an escape route, and never forget: This world is full of treasures, greater than gold, waiting to be found.

With all the charm and mischief of a true pirate,

Captain Caspian Stormbeard